Dear Eli

I’ve had trouble finishing posts for your blog. Distraction has been my therapy of choice, but it’s time to use writing now. It’s been almost 9 months since you died and it’s gone by in a blink and dragged on like years, depending on the day.

August 2021

A year ago, you spoke in our church, testifying of your belief in Christ. This year, Peter and Ella sang in the youth choir in church. The folder they were given with the music had your name written all over it. We know you were singing with them.

Eli wrote his name on this choir music folder. Somehow it ended up in Peter & Ella’s hands.

Remember last year, when your cancer came back with a vengeance in May? I wrote about the IRS “correcting” our tax return and only giving us a partial refund, when I expected the whole thing to help fund our trip to Houston. It was a particularly inconvenient time to have to file an appeal before the deadline, but I did it anyway.

I don’t know if I mentioned it, but an anonymous check showed up in our mailbox that month (not from the IRS), and it was for almost the exact amount that the IRS had withheld from us. That was one of the many miracles we experienced during what I think of as the cancer years. The IRS form said that they would respond to our appeal within 5-6 weeks, but it took over a year, which brings me to the good news.

The IRS finally processed our appeal last month and gave us back the rest of our refund. Maybe they hired that four year old I recommended.๐Ÿ˜‰ It will pay for my new refrigerator, since the ice maker in our current refrigerator gave up the ghost (you know me and my ice).

The other news, which is good in the sense that I had been struggling to motivate myself to do it, so getting it done was a big accomplishment, is that I filed an appeal with our health insurance for a number of claims from the care you received in Houston that they had denied.

For good or ill, I submitted the appeal and await the verdict. Texas Children’s has been great to work with, but I keep getting their bills, so I hope the issue will be resolved soon.

That reminds me, I received an accident information request from our health insurance regarding a claim on May 17th of this year, for you. ๐Ÿคจ What have you been doing? Apparently the insurance doesn’t know what you have been doing, either, because the space where the diagnosis is supposed to be is blank. No, it’s not someone trying to defraud our insurance, but it was unexpected to get that request for more information about your alleged accident which couldn’t have happened. ๐Ÿ™„

So, I promised you I would be okay, and I am, most of the time. But I still miss you and am frequently reminded of your absence. The other evening, while Valerie and I were working in the sewing room, Ella came in, laughing and crying, watching a video on her phone. She showed it to us, then we were all laughing and crying.

I had let you use a phone that last year and you had taken pictures and a few videos with it. Noah is using it now, and I had recently backed up your photos and videos to make space on the phone for Noah’s apps. Apparently Google told Ella I had shared a video with her, and that’s the one she was watching. You had been pretending to be a character named “Kevin” (no relation to your uncle) who was a spoiled brat, and Ella had filmed you with your phone. I’ll just leave it here:

I love you, Eli!

Love, Mom

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