One of the things I worry about is remembering how Eli sounds or looks or all the moments I spent with him throughout his life. In fact, that is one of the reasons I keep this blog. Holidays can be difficult for various reasons. I wasn't sure how this one would feel. It's had its …
I am often puzzled when people express gratitude for something bad that has happened to them or their loved ones. They might say something like, "I learned so much from [insert challenging experience here], and I am grateful it happened because I am a stronger person because of it." Well, I'm not grateful for Eli's …
Dear Eli, You'll be happy to know the house didn't burn down today. Ella was hanging out in your workshop, which, if you recall, gets its electricity via an outdoor rated extension cord running to an outlet on the outside of the house. She was cold, so she turned on a portable heater. She was …
Continue reading Miracles, Coincidences, and Other Disasters
Dear Eli, I totally don't know what to call it. Death day? Death Anniversary? We were calling it your graduation, since you graduated from this life, but graduation anniversary doesn't seem right, either. So, when it comes up, we just call it the 17th. [One cousin who read this post uses "angelversary", which is a …
Dear Eli, I think you would have enjoyed our efforts to remember you on Halloween. We set up a skeleton, with glow sticks and a candy bowl, at your gravesite so people could trick-or-treat there. That evening, we went to trick-or-treat and saw another group there taking pictures and trick-or-treating. We exchanged a few words …
Grief is a constant companion. It is always there. I can be distracted from it. I can ignore it. I can even hide from it, but I can't get rid of it, nor do I want to. Grief reminds me that my son exists. When Eli's biopsy four years ago today came back positive for …
Dear Eli, The other night, Daddy and I got home from our date with the Hathcocks. Your little sisters were still awake and wouldn't go to sleep without a story. Well, I definitely had a story to tell. This is what I told them: Once upon a time (all good stories start like this), a …
Dear Eli, We spent the last couple days at the Renaissance Faire. It was bittersweet as I visited the leatherworker who gave you the D&D leather game roll and, later, when I paid my respects to Queen Elizabeth, who had us as special guests at her feast last year. 2021 2022 Every time I saw …
I've had trouble finishing posts for your blog. Distraction has been my therapy of choice, but it's time to use writing now. It's been almost 9 months since you died and it's gone by in a blink and dragged on like years, depending on the day. August 2021 A year ago, you spoke in our …
Dear Eli, Ella composed this song for you in February, performed it for your birthday party in May, and performed it again at a camp she and Peter went to at BYU last week. You can't tell from the video, but there were 800 people in the audience. Miss you Eli! https://youtu.be/xZRjFTxlmzc
Eli The Boss 