Grief is a constant companion. It is always there. I can be distracted from it. I can ignore it. I can even hide from it, but I can't get rid of it, nor do I want to. Grief reminds me that my son exists. When Eli's biopsy four years ago today came back positive for …
Valerie started writing this sometime in August 2021, and finished it the night Eli graduated. Death Sentence I wish the memories weren’t so vivid. But here we are, with clear names, dates, and events all trapped in my head. It was Halloween (2018), not when it started, but when the first death sentence came. My …
Two weeks ago we passed the two month mark since Eli's passing. It feels like yesterday and forever ago all at once. These torches are solar powered and flicker in the dark. Christmas Christmas was magical. Thanks to very generous organizations and anonymous elves, we were able to customize their gifts to build their talents …
Adam again. The night Eli graduated, we began sending notifications and making phone calls. We started with the medical people, so they could come and complete the formalities and paperwork. Then to our close friends who had already been helping us plan for this event, or had been directly helping us cope in various ways. …
We wanted to post more about our journey since Eli's graduation, but we first were busy with preparations, then with family and friends, then with napping. We have received so much support in our mourning and we have really delighted in visiting and reconnecting (and sometimes connecting for the first time) with so many people …
Adam posting this evening. Elijah Thomas Augustine passed on this evening at about 9:16 PM. He was having trouble breathing and said that he wanted to die. His mother said, "Well you have been fighting for so long. Three years." Eli said, "We are champions." He then asked his mother if it was OK if …
I thought up the title for this post months ago, knowing the final destination, but not knowing how long it would take to get there. Eli is still with us, but I can tell it won't be for much longer. I have sought to learn what to expect here at the end of the road, …
This quote has been running through my mind since Eli had a bad pain episode a week ago starting about 3 am. He had texted me asking for water for his 3 am meds. I had been woken up by our 4 year old climbing into bed with Adam and me about 2:30 am, so …
Continue reading First things first, to the death. No. To the pain.
Radiation Eli finished his radiation Wednesday, October 13th. He had some increasing pain in his back, so he had previously been unable to lay down on the table long enough for the radiation. So, I gave him all the pain meds at my disposal (maybe 5 or 6?) and he was able to finish. Eli …
For the longest time, when asked how he was doing, Eli's response was "Same as always". In his mind, this response made perfect sense since he felt generally well and that was the same as he always felt. It bugged him to always be asked the same question by every medical person who rotated in …
Eli The Boss 