East facing West facing Well, it's mostly finished. There is more to come.
Tag: pain
Thanksgiving
I am often puzzled when people express gratitude for something bad that has happened to them or their loved ones. They might say something like, "I learned so much from [insert challenging experience here], and I am grateful it happened because I am a stronger person because of it." Well, I'm not grateful for Eli's …
Deathversary
Dear Eli, I totally don't know what to call it. Death day? Death Anniversary? We were calling it your graduation, since you graduated from this life, but graduation anniversary doesn't seem right, either. So, when it comes up, we just call it the 17th. [One cousin who read this post uses "angelversary", which is a …
Seasons
Grief is a constant companion. It is always there. I can be distracted from it. I can ignore it. I can even hide from it, but I can't get rid of it, nor do I want to. Grief reminds me that my son exists. When Eli's biopsy four years ago today came back positive for …
Past and Present
Dear Eli, We spent the last couple days at the Renaissance Faire. It was bittersweet as I visited the leatherworker who gave you the D&D leather game roll and, later, when I paid my respects to Queen Elizabeth, who had us as special guests at her feast last year. 2021 2022 Every time I saw …
Dear Eli
I've had trouble finishing posts for your blog. Distraction has been my therapy of choice, but it's time to use writing now. It's been almost 9 months since you died and it's gone by in a blink and dragged on like years, depending on the day. August 2021 A year ago, you spoke in our …
Dragon Hunts
Dear Eli, Ella composed this song for you in February, performed it for your birthday party in May, and performed it again at a camp she and Peter went to at BYU last week. You can't tell from the video, but there were 800 people in the audience. Miss you Eli! https://youtu.be/xZRjFTxlmzc
Love Never Dies
My obligatory selfie--I take one every time I visit Eli's grave. I walked with my friend to the cemetery today. We brought a hook to hang one of the Valentines that someone had left on Eli's grave. Adam and I had discovered it several days ago when we had driven by. On Valentine's Day, my …
Aftershocks – Valerie Essay 2
By Valerie Started: 11/25/21, Finished: 1/13/22 Eli & Valerie Aftershocks Often, the aftershocks are worse than the earthquake itself; they leave devastation in their wake for days, even weeks after the main earthquake. I wrote about my perspective from the sidelines watching my little brother Eli’s three-year battle with cancer. Unfortunately, the effects of cancer …
The Boy Who Tried – Valerie Essay 1
Valerie started writing this sometime in August 2021, and finished it the night Eli graduated. Death Sentence I wish the memories weren’t so vivid. But here we are, with clear names, dates, and events all trapped in my head. It was Halloween (2018), not when it started, but when the first death sentence came. My …
Eli The Boss 