I dreamt about Eli last night. In the dream, he had been between bouts of cancer, but when I looked at him, I saw a swelling on the left side of his face, so I went over to him to check it out. I touched his cheek and the swelling felt more like a blister, …
November 17, 2021 I knew that morning that time was short. Eli had things he hadn't finished, so I invited our friend Diamond Jim, who worked at This is the Place, to come over so he could get Eli's leather working projects and finish them. One less task undone--one less thing tying Eli to this …
I know you all are wondering about Eli's headstone. Yes, we ordered it December of 2021, a few weeks after he died. We bought enough plots for Eli, Adam, and me, so we bought a headstone for the three of us to share. The style we chose is less common, so the monument company didn't …
One of the things I worry about is remembering how Eli sounds or looks or all the moments I spent with him throughout his life. In fact, that is one of the reasons I keep this blog. Holidays can be difficult for various reasons. I wasn't sure how this one would feel. It's had its …
I am often puzzled when people express gratitude for something bad that has happened to them or their loved ones. They might say something like, "I learned so much from [insert challenging experience here], and I am grateful it happened because I am a stronger person because of it." Well, I'm not grateful for Eli's …
Dear Eli, I totally don't know what to call it. Death day? Death Anniversary? We were calling it your graduation, since you graduated from this life, but graduation anniversary doesn't seem right, either. So, when it comes up, we just call it the 17th. [One cousin who read this post uses "angelversary", which is a …
Grief is a constant companion. It is always there. I can be distracted from it. I can ignore it. I can even hide from it, but I can't get rid of it, nor do I want to. Grief reminds me that my son exists. When Eli's biopsy four years ago today came back positive for …
Dear Eli, We spent the last couple days at the Renaissance Faire. It was bittersweet as I visited the leatherworker who gave you the D&D leather game roll and, later, when I paid my respects to Queen Elizabeth, who had us as special guests at her feast last year. 2021 2022 Every time I saw …
Dear Eli, Ella composed this song for you in February, performed it for your birthday party in May, and performed it again at a camp she and Peter went to at BYU last week. You can't tell from the video, but there were 800 people in the audience. Miss you Eli! https://youtu.be/xZRjFTxlmzc
By Valerie Started: 11/25/21, Finished: 1/13/22 Eli & Valerie Aftershocks Often, the aftershocks are worse than the earthquake itself; they leave devastation in their wake for days, even weeks after the main earthquake. I wrote about my perspective from the sidelines watching my little brother Eli’s three-year battle with cancer. Unfortunately, the effects of cancer …
Eli The Boss 