Dear Eli, I totally don't know what to call it. Death day? Death Anniversary? We were calling it your graduation, since you graduated from this life, but graduation anniversary doesn't seem right, either. So, when it comes up, we just call it the 17th. [One cousin who read this post uses "angelversary", which is a …
Grief is a constant companion. It is always there. I can be distracted from it. I can ignore it. I can even hide from it, but I can't get rid of it, nor do I want to. Grief reminds me that my son exists. When Eli's biopsy four years ago today came back positive for …
Dear Eli, We spent the last couple days at the Renaissance Faire. It was bittersweet as I visited the leatherworker who gave you the D&D leather game roll and, later, when I paid my respects to Queen Elizabeth, who had us as special guests at her feast last year. 2021 2022 Every time I saw …
Dear Eli, Ella composed this song for you in February, performed it for your birthday party in May, and performed it again at a camp she and Peter went to at BYY last week. You can't tell from the video, but there were 800 people in the audience. Miss you Eli! https://youtu.be/xZRjFTxlmzc
Celebrating Christmas We got to celebrate Christmas early this year. Our dear neighbors decorated their homes with Christmas lights and decor early, just in time for Eli to do a little driving tour. This was likely his last outing. Labor Having given birth to nine children, I am well acquainted with the work it takes …
I thought up the title for this post months ago, knowing the final destination, but not knowing how long it would take to get there. Eli is still with us, but I can tell it won't be for much longer. I have sought to learn what to expect here at the end of the road, …
Radiation Eli finished his radiation Wednesday, October 13th. He had some increasing pain in his back, so he had previously been unable to lay down on the table long enough for the radiation. So, I gave him all the pain meds at my disposal (maybe 5 or 6?) and he was able to finish. Eli …
For the longest time, when asked how he was doing, Eli's response was "Same as always". In his mind, this response made perfect sense since he felt generally well and that was the same as he always felt. It bugged him to always be asked the same question by every medical person who rotated in …
On August 8th, I took a leap and bought tickets for the family to go to FanX (a comic con in Salt Lake City). The kids, my sister, my niece, and I had been talking about going to FanX together. With Eli's deteriorating health and prognosis of looming death in the coming weeks, I was …
Continue reading Living in the Moment, Planning for the Future
A week after deciding to go to Disneyland, we were there. We drove out to my sister's house and spent a day trying to rest up. Some of us were more successful than others. The Big Day Bright and early, we showed up at the front gates after convincing Disneyland's security that the emesis bag …
Eli The Boss 