Sleep

The dark shape in the dark shadow is Eli

Eli finished another round of chemo earlier this evening. It is the second to last inpatient round before starting maintenance chemo, which is all outpatient.

On one hand, I am feeling glad and relieved to be approaching that milestone in treatment and feeling grateful that things have gone so well. I didn’t really know what to wish for when this all started eight months ago, but if I could pass on what I know now to my past self, I would wish, hope, and pray for what we have attained so far–no evidence of cancer with minimal side effects so far. This is the best case scenario.

It isn’t that there won’t be fallout down the road from his treatment, but, for now, we have avoided many of the difficulties that could have happened.

The dark photo above is Eli asleep. He had a busy day here at the hospital:

Virtual reality, thanks to volunteers
Visit from Eli’s grandparents and uncle
Learning card tricks from Grandpa and practicing on the nurses

While he sleeps, what am I doing? Reflecting on all the things that remind me of the seriousness of why we’re here: the sounds of a code blue alert on the fourth floor, life flight helicopters coming and going, and the incessant alarms and beeping demanding the nurses’ attention.

But I also think of the goodness of volunteers who take the time to pay for, prepare, and serve meals to parents like me who are here even though we’d rather not be. I remember fondly the nurses who capitulated to Eli’s requests to play Uno with him. Last, but not least, I think with gratitude of my children being cared for by friends and relatives while Adam and I take care of work and Eli.

Because of the kindness of all who continue to serve, I can set my burdens down for a time and sleep.

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